Don't Ask.....

So I had a really great weekend.  A friend organized a party that was an adult version of a backyard sports and it was tons of fun! I have noticed though that people look to see if I am drinking, it's not me being paranoid - I have had some of my friends come right out and ask when refrain from drinking "if there is a reason".  So, far sadly the only reason is that sometimes if I am not in the right frame of mind (good mood) and drinking can bring me down... it's no fun.  

When we are in a big group of our friends... and they ask: when are you having kids, any kids for you, thinking about starting a family, when are you guys going to start popping 'em out...? I have little patience for it now.  I feel as though I have been fielding these questions for over a year now.  I know they don't mean any harm - even though you really shouldn't ask anyone that question.  At the party I just wanted to have fun and not deal with the questions or the stress of how I will respond.   

When asked for the third time that day about having a baby, this is what occurred:

http://www.christart.com/legal/credits/

Q: When are you and going to have a Baby?

Me: If it were up to me, I'd already have a baby.  We have been trying, and we have a problem... that we are working on.  

Q: Shooting blanks, huh?

Me: No, the problem is me.  I have PCOS, and currently taking diabetic medication in hopes to help me conceive.  PCOS is a hormonal imbalance - it's been a really hard time.

Q: Oh.  

I think the thing with infertility is- it does affect so much of your everyday life.  Friends & family have said - don't let it consume you, don't like it take over.... if only it were that easy.  I try to brush off incidences like that, but they stick in my mind.  I know I have to let it go, but in some cases.... I feel like everyone is so intolerant, and all I want is compassion, not just for me but my Hubs as well.  I think it makes people uncomfortable, and they don't know what to say and half the times it's offensive.

Magic Mike Movie Night

Movie Night

My friend and I walk into the AMC Movie Theater

Me: I don't get a chance to say anything at the ticket counter....
Cashier: Two for Magic Mike?
Me: That obvious huh.....
Cashier: Trust me it's not a lucky guess.


So needless to say I saw Magic Mike with my friend last night.   It was a fun night out on the town, and I really needed it.  The theater was totally packed on a Wednesday night.... with men & women, and the movie was pretty good! I liked it, more then I thought I would. Sometimes I have learned with reading books or watching movies, if you go in with no expectations - you can be pleasantly surprised.

It really made me think about how women are wired and our current position in society today.  With the sudden explosion of Fifty Shades & Magic Mike - it seems to me like there is slight revival of  The Mass Market of The Female Libido. Which surprises me since advertising & media aside I'd say our country generally is lacking in the womens movement.   In the theater last night - I heard lots of  "he's so hot", "oh my", "she's so ugly" and lots and lots of awkward chuckles.  The movie is not through the eyes of a female and that is quite obvious.

Going to this movie was fun.  The story line was good, Channing Tatum isn't bad to look at for 2 hours but the thought of actually going to a Male strip club/all male review is not something I am particularly interested in. I briefly mentioned this to my husband last night, the thought of a sweaty stripper "dong in a thong" coming anywhere near me no matter how good looking he is, for me is not a turn on. (My husband calles me a germ- a- phobe, maybe I am a prude... I don't know) I'll gladly pass on the banana hammock in my face - that to me isn't a turn on.  I can't imagine the thought of sticking a money in anyone's sweaty underwear!

Of course Channing Tatum is the "good guy stripper" with excellent dance moves, and I heard someone in the theater say his "character was sexy" and  I totally agree and think that it is a crucial part to his allure.  I also found it interesting how the other women in the theater picked apart the girls in the movie. Are women hard wired to be jealous, and insecure?  


All and all it was a really fun night, I should do it more often. 


Have you seen Magic Mike?

Clear Blue Fertility Monitor

So, one day on my lunch a couple months past I did something really, really stupid.  I thought I was buying ovulation test kit, but what I ended up with was the fertility monitor strips.  I can't return it b/c I didn't realize my mistake until after I opened the plastic wrap, even though the box is sealed.  I was in a hurry, and I was clearly not thinking either. 

I don't think there is any way I can use it.  Is there?

So, now that I have the test strips I looked into getting the Clear Blue Fertility Monitor - EEeeeKKK! It's so expensive.  I don't think I could really benefit from the monitor, either since I seem to be on somewhat of a schedule and the Ovualtion kits seem to be working just fine.  I wish I could use these, with out the super pricey monitor.  

Do you or know of someone who uses the Clear Blue Monitor?  Let me know how you like it......

More supplements....

I realize it's been a while since I have posted.  I made a few small changes last month, since I have posted.  I started to take more supplements and got back on the diet train, which is more difficult with Summer festivities.  

Currently I am taking a Multi Vitamin, DCI, and 2 new ones:

Company - CHIRAL BALANCE


Retress -  is for all the negative effects from PCOS

Vitex  - is to aid in fertility

I started taking these in the middle of June 2012

Laser Hair Removal : another PCOS problem.

This was by far the best decision, I kick myself for not doing it sooner.  As you may or may not know a symptom of PCOS is:

Hirsutism: 

condition produces excess hair growth

notably on the face, chest, abdomen, thumbs, or toes.

I'ts not pretty, and ever since I noticed these symptoms I have longed for colder weather!  I feel much more comfortable in winter clothes where I can cover.  Since I live in Chicago I have to be prepared for any type of weather at any time - which means my razor is getting a pretty good workout.  Anyways, one day I saw a special on Groupon for Laser Hair Removal (LHR) - on an impulse I bought it.  It's funny because even though I am embarrassed about the excess hair - it took me some time to build up the courage to call for an appointment.  I still feel a bit weird about it.  


Well, I now kick myself for not doing it sooner.  One of my trouble areas is my bikini line - and so far I have had 3 treatments (8weeks apart) and I wish I would have done it sooner.  I have 3 more to go and I am really looking forward to the final results.  Some may wonder, does it hurt?  I can only say that it doesn't feel great - but tolerable, and the pain goes away very quickly.  I also have lily white skin & dark brown hair - I hear that is the best combo the Laser will work on.  I don't use the numbing cream - although I think if it was a bigger area or more sensitive- I would defiantly consider asking for it.  


I may become a (LHR) junkie, it totally beats out shaving and it has really improved my self esteem!


Feel free to message me with any questions.  

Up Date

So, things have been going well.  In the back of my mind I think I am going to Jinx myself if I get too positive!  But, they have been going better... much better.  No more weight loss to speak of since the major (almost 10lb weight loss) but I feel like my body is starting to take a more defined shape.  I feel only slightly better about my appearance.

I did get a period last month the cycle length was a bit longer 38 days.  It came, was longer then the last period and I didn't have major symptoms like I have had in the past.  Usually, I was somewhat able to guess when I thought my period may be close because my face would break out like crazy.

This month I was lazy about Ovulation testing, my husband urged me to test... and it's a good thing because on my second day of test I got a surge.  I would have missed it - close call.

stay tuned... hope everyone is well.  :)

Looking Real.

Sometimes a magazine will do a special article where the star has no makeup on, and everyone praises them.  I don't know what reality is anymore, and I think most American women are clueless too.  I am sick of looking at what the media represents as a beautiful women. I can see airbrushing out a pimple, maybe some crows feet around the eyes - but scooping out a women hips, who is suppose to be famous for being curvy.. now that I just don't understand.  

The above pic is in a current magazine that women love and the article is about bikinis at every age. Um, seriously who is in the art dept?  The photo of KK looks ridiculous - and frankly they all do.  Thus, real women like myself keep struggling to fit in and it's mostly fake anyways... so insanely frustrating.  

Even though I lost about 10 lbs. I don't notice a change in myself, and I still struggle with the weight gain from PCOS and finding myself in the mirror again.