Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Baby's First Trip to Hawaii

I just returned from a lovely trip to Hawaii.  It was so relaxing to get away and go someplace that is also nice and warm.

My Husband and I had a great time.  I think Hawaii has become our "place".  I truly love the feel and vibe of Hawaii - it's hard to adjust back to Chicago life.  I also can't believe how fast this pregnancy is going.  When I first for the positive sign on the test, I couldn't believe it.  Now that I am 18 weeks, I still can't believe it.  I am showing too - it's exciting.  I was waiting so long for the "bump" and it's here.  I feel so lucky everyday.

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Everything A-okay

Had my 16 week check up today.  Everything is a-okay.

Heard the Heart Beat, and heard the baby moving around too.  My Husband was able to make it to the appointment, I think he really enjoyed it.  I was able to hear the heart beat at 12 weeks - and he missed out on that.

Since I can't feel anything yet, it's amazing to hear the Dr. say "I can hear the babe moving around in there" before she got to the heart beat.  It's a really cool thought, actually it's hard to put to words.

I also gained 3 lbs.  I told the Dr. I am still not feeling well - however she said next month I should feel much better.  So, if it's only 1 month of feeling sick then that's not so bad.  I am very fortunate to not be actually throwing up... just feeling sick.

I also decided with our upcoming trip to Maui, and a Husband that travels often.... it was in my best interest to get he flu shot.  I just feel tired now, with a soar arm.

Monday, November 12, 2012

Check up

Went in for my check up with the Nurse on 11/9.

Heard the heart beat..... 142!!!

I also lost between 4-5 lbs. so I was given BNexa to help with the nausea I have been experiencing.  If there was only something for my lack of appetite.  I also have been going to bed every night at about 8:30ish - if I am not in bed by then I am exhausted.

Other then that - everything went well.  I am going to work harder at eating even when I don't really feel like it at all.

I have another check up on Dec. 11 and then the BIG Ultra Sound in the first week of Jan. to determine the sex.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

I'm back and with good news.


MAY 22 2013 

Our Lil' Peanut at 8 weeks

Pretty exciting stuff.

Today officially marks 12 weeks!  It's been a emotional journey, and I feel very blessed.  I really appreciate everyone out there who helped encourage me along the way.  I am really looking forward to the next chapter.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Dirty 30

I am 30, I was the first out of my group of friends to go first :).  It was awkward at the time, but I feel good about it now.  Below is an article I found on the Huff about Health in our 30's.  I really think it's worth the read.  The author mentions many things I totally agree with.  I found #8 to be especially important.

8. Yes, your fertility is on the decline
We may be engaged in a culture of prolonged adolescence, but our ovaries are unaware of that fact. By 30, your ovarian reserve will have begun its decline (the height of fertility is in the early 20s) and that decline will become precipitous by 35. That means, if you want to give birth to biological children, it requires a bit of planning.
This necessarily introduces a new dynamic: you are biologically compelled to act out a social behavior (planning a family, looking for a mate) in a way that your male and non-child-seeking peers do not. Yes, it's unfair, but what can you do? As Cole Porter wrote, "We're merely mammals."
Check out the entire article here:

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Birth Control

Check out the below post from REFINERY 29 on the pill.


I learned a lot.  

Friday, September 14, 2012

2nd Acupuncture for Infertility Appointment Today

I had my second acupuncture for infertility appointment this morning.  This is the list from the intern of foods that may be helpful - and what to stay away from.  

At my previous appointment I told her I was eating a lot of frozen yogurt,  love ice cream,  and Milk... she asked what my cravings are.  She suggested I that limit the amount of cold dairy products, but not cut them out.  

I was brave enough to look at the needles this time.  This appointment was much better then the first.  I do feel exhausted again though, but that is common.  I also made 2 following appointments   

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

acupuncture for infertility

I was told from the OBGYN, that acupuncture is helpful for women suffereing with infertility.  I also had a friend who has a friend (you know the story, lol) that swears by it.  I decided, it was time deal with my fear of needles, and try it.  

I started last Friday Sept. 7th.  I didn't really know what to expect, I didn't do tons for research about the experience, because I am terrified of needles and didn't want to psych myself out.  I called at least 20 places - and came to realize most are not open during the day, didn't have websites, seemed to be pretty much booked up, didn't speak English, or didn't want to treat me for infertility.  I was surprised, because Chicago is a big city - how can this be?

I did finally find a school that teaches Oriental Medicine - and made the appointment on the spot.  I'm so glad I didn't do a lot of reading about the experience before, because I did freak out.... a little.  I just don't do well with needles - and had a mini meltdown.  I was able to compose myself till after I was out of the building.  As with all the things I do - there is the devil & angel on my shoulder.  Since it's a teaching school she is a intern - waiting to be clinically certified.  I felt extremely comfortable with her, and she knew all about PCOS.  She performed an extensive medical history, and they look also at your tongue before the acupuncture.  For the first appt. I was there for about 2 hours - but the following appts. will be much shorter.  Okay, so about my Freak out....

She inserted the needles - and I don't want to scare anyone off, but I felt each and EVERY one of them.  I believe there were 8 total, that were left in the body for 15 mins. Once there were in my body felt electrified, but in a good way.  It was during the time alone I had a break down.  The reappearance of my Angel & Devil on my shoulder.    

The Devil said  "you are wasting your time - these needles hurt- go ahead look at them - this isn't going to work - you hate needles"

The Angel said  "relax - don't look at the needles - give yourself every opportunity - your going to be okay - you are meant to have a baby - everything will work out - have faith - stay calm"

I do suffer panic attacks, so it's not unthinkable I'd panic.... but no less comforting either.  In the middle of the episode, the knock at the door quickly stopped my mind - the intern entered and told be I only has 5 more minutes.... SWEET RELIEF!  A wave of calm came over me.  It wasn't till I was talking about the experience 30mins later that the feelings all came flooding back.  Once I had a time to cry out all my frustrations, I felt better but drained.  My body was soar that day, and I didn't feel quite right... however I was told to expect that.

My husband - who is ALWAYS super supportive listened to everything with an open mind.  He asked if I think it's working? - Clearly to early to tell - however I did "feel" something.  I guess I feel like it's a step in the right direction.  The Intern recommend that  I continue once a week - so I made an appt. for the next (2) following weeks.  I feel good about, and feel MUCH better about the needles used.  

Thursday, September 6, 2012

September is PCOS Awareness Month

So, if you are like me.... before being diagnosed with PCOS - I had never heard of it.  When I told friends and family - they were clueless.  It was at first kind of hard to determine what to do.  I read lots and lots of chat boards - but never really trusted anything I read. Most the chat boards were outdated, full of adds, and most importantly gave misguided information. 

Here is the list of places I found on the web that really helped me understand my condition with information I could trust.  It can be overwhelming at first - but it gets easier to understand little by little.  I found there are lots of blogs out there, just like mine where women are going the same feelings. You are not alone!

Looking for Answers:  

PCOS Information: 
mayo clinic - This is helpful in getting ready for a first Dr.'s appointment.

Northwestern Memorial Hospital - Easy to understand.

pcos help centre - Many helpful tips.  

livestrong article what can help me lose weight with pcos - Weight loss advice- so very helpful in the battle against PCOS.

chiral balance - I started taking DCI as soon as I was diagnosed.  They have a great video that explains what DCI does.

preseed sperm friendly lube - I bought this as soon as we started TTC.

ask your Dr. about taking vitamin d - this article has a very good description.  

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Breaking up is Hard to do.... See ya SODA!

Sugar is the mortal enemy of PCOS.  

I am a recovering soda addict.  I indulge here and there - but have stopped buying diet coke/coke by the case load, long long ago.  It was hard at first, but slowly it got easier. In the beginning I suffered from Headaches and mood swings - it was brutal.  

I still have some caffeine everyday, but not nearly what I used to drink.  Sometimes I miss all the diet coke / coke, I used to drink - but I know it's for the best.  

Here are some Products that have replaced Soda in my life.  

Juice & Lemonade - I always cut with water.  

 My new favorite soda!  I have always loved this stuff, and after visiting their brewery this weekend.... I found out it comes in low cal! This is a great way to treat yourself once in a while and is sweetened with local honey.  
 It's awesome - and visiting the Brewery was really fun! 
Check out the website here :sprecher brewery info and tours

I love love love Starbucks Shaken Iced Green Tea Lemonade Unsweetened

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Products that Helped my Acne from PCOS

So, it's been a while since I have spoken about my Acne.  Mostly, because (knock on wood) it's been pretty good.  I have slight breakouts around my period - but it's manageable.  I feel much better about my skin - the acne, that I had was painful... I'm glad those days are hopefully behind me now.

Here is what I use to keep my skin healthy.

I love this formula.  I noticed a difference in my skin after completing the first bottle.  I would highly recommend this.  

I love this face wash.  I remember my mother as a kid, had a favorite nail polish color - and was crushed when they discontinued it.  At the time I couldn't understand being so connected to a product.  Now, I get it.... I would be devastated if this face wash wasn't around anymore.  I have used it's for the past 2 years.  It removes makeup like a dream (even eye makeup), and makes my skin feel amazing.  

This is a great product.  Just enough coverage in a super charged moisturizer all in one.  If I do happen to have acne - this covers well.  Feels like velvet going on - and doesn't upset the ph balance in my skin.  

I just started using these again, and I think they make a huge difference in the appearance of my skin.  I use the nose strips about once a week.  I think I bought a pack of 14 for about 8.00, sometimes you can even find a coupon.  

Friday, August 31, 2012

Out with the old in with the New.

Labor Day weekend is here and Summer will be soon be in the rear view mirror.  I have been in a "funk" lately, but there has been a lot of other outside issues this Summer, other then my body.  

I sort of feel like my surroundings are forcing me to change my outlook.  For example, since I am still loosing some weight... I have been putting off buying new clothes.  In hopes that my next wardrobe will be maternity shopping.  I was finally able to fit into (3) pairs of pants I bought at the very early stages of first going off the pill.  I started to rapidly gain weight - this was before I became aware of my PCOS, 40+ lbs. later.  So this Summer I just wore though those 3 pairs of pants that I bought when I first started to gain weight.  So, I was forced to purge basically the 3 pairs of pants I was wearing all though out the week currently.

Then, I was laying in bed - I went to stretch my legs and heard a tear! My favorite pair of sheets (we have 2 sets) had a HUGE gash in it.  I guess we use them constantly for the past 3 years, we got pretty good wear out of them.  So now, I am forced to use the other set of sheets... that aren't nearly as comfortable. But, again I have to now change my habit.  

Last but not least .... cosmetics.  I have extremely long hair so don't wash it every day, but shampoo & conditioner were used up this week at the same time.  Then I used all my Bare Minerals Foundation... I even went as far as to crack open the container to tap put the powder stuck under the rings of the cap.  Then, my hairspray, face wash, and moisturizer all went out too.  

So I think the universes is telling me something.... CHANGE.  hahahah!

People that know me, know that like the majority of us we are creatures of habit.  I eat the same food, wear the same clothes (not now anyways), watch the same TV shows, read the same kind of books.  I guess you could say that Change for me is hard.  This week - all the little things changed on me, and I really didn't have a choice.  Hoping for a Bigger Change soon, and trying to pay more attention to looking at things differently.


Friday, August 24, 2012


Do you like pinterest? I am pretty much obsessed.  I have created a PCOS board that I wanted to share....

There are lots of other PCOS boards, and it's interesting to see what other women are pinning.

I highly suggest pinterest if you have loads of time, with nothing to do.  In all seriousness, sometimes pinterest is a good "metal vacation" from other sites like FB that are loaded with sonogram & baby shots.  I sometimes get a little baby crazy - looking on FB to see who else I know that is pregnant and what their baby looks like.  It's a sick thing I do when I am sometimes feeling down on myself.  Is it healthy, no probably not lol....but I remember when my friends were starting to get engaged & married - I loved to spy on engagement photos and rings.... wondering when my turn was coming.

Happy Pinning!

Tuesday, August 21, 2012


After a routine check up at my Endocrinologist 2 weeks ago, I mentioned to her that the MetforminER is better on my stomach but still have issues.  My main issue being diarrhea. The extended release was more manageable, however I was still running to the bathroom about once/twice a day.... literally RUNNING.

At my appointment I was handed (2) sample bottles of Glumetza - the Dr. said that "patients have noticed it's much easier on the stomach", and that it is more expensive then MetforminER.  I wasn't thrilled that it was more expensive, and I was skeptical at how much "easier on the stomach" it really was.  I waited till I had 1 more dose of my MetforminER left and tried the Glumetza samples. (Que' singing Angels)


I am so much happier on Glumetza.  Currently taking (2) 1000mg dose each night, I feel so much better in the morning.  There are still days I have diarrhea, but they are few and far between.   I only wish I knew about it sooner.  As for the price, it was double what I was paying - but totally worth it.  I no longer scout out the restroom at every public place.  

Also, I am going to stay the course of action for the next 6 months, then regroup if there is no successful pregnancy.  I am currently using ovulation kits each month, and getting a surge (I can now also track my cycle to 34 days). I was advised by my Dr. that if I get anxious at any point, she suggests visiting my OBGYN and asking for clomid - which she thinks would be successful. 

Tuesday, August 14, 2012


So I did end up having a yest infection.  At first I thought it was a urinary tract infection, and at my Endocrinologist appointment I asked her to do a urinalysis - which was totally normal.  I went to to my OB after still not feeling terrible but not feeling right (my husband urged me to go) I just wasn't sure what was going on.  She spotted it right away.

Since we are TTC and I have not gotten my period by that point, I had to do the cream.  It seems to be clearing up.  I had a reaction the cream treatment a couple years ago so I took it with a Benadryl and that seemed to really help.

For some stupid reason I felt different this month.  I also read so many posts about women who had a yeast infection early in their pregnancy. I started to get my hopes up just a little- I'm so mad at myself about that.  I just had a different feeling about this month.  

Yesterday I started spotting and I think it's to late for implantation bleeding, another Bust.

Friday, August 3, 2012

Somethings Up

So at 1DPO I had a lot of discharge, some cramping but not alarming.

Now at 4DPO I don't know what I have going on.  The discharge is clear, there is no smell, but there is a weird comfortableness.  I'm just bothered.  No burning while urinating, just feels different and sensitive, like very irritated... I would say dry, but there is clear discharge.  (I have not switched soaps, or any other habits)

Very weird, I truly am hoping this is not the starting of a yeast infection.

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

This was my Snapple "Real Fact" #775 - I thought it was pretty interesting.

Monday, July 30, 2012

Smiley Face

Clear Blue Easy test 7/30/2012

It's always really exciting when I see this smiley face.  

I totally kick myself for using different kits in the past - this ovulation test is truly the best.  The other tests are seriously hard to determine when a surge has occurred.  

So, I always get butterfly's in my stomach when I see this lil guy smile.  

Hopefully this is the month!!  

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Don't Ask.....

So I had a really great weekend.  A friend organized a party that was an adult version of a backyard sports and it was tons of fun! I have noticed though that people look to see if I am drinking, it's not me being paranoid - I have had some of my friends come right out and ask when refrain from drinking "if there is a reason".  So, far sadly the only reason is that sometimes if I am not in the right frame of mind (good mood) and drinking can bring me down... it's no fun.  

When we are in a big group of our friends... and they ask: when are you having kids, any kids for you, thinking about starting a family, when are you guys going to start popping 'em out...? I have little patience for it now.  I feel as though I have been fielding these questions for over a year now.  I know they don't mean any harm - even though you really shouldn't ask anyone that question.  At the party I just wanted to have fun and not deal with the questions or the stress of how I will respond.   

When asked for the third time that day about having a baby, this is what occurred:
Q: When are you and going to have a Baby?
Me: If it were up to me, I'd already have a baby.  We have been trying, and we have a problem... that we are working on.  
Q: Shooting blanks, huh?
Me: No, the problem is me.  I have PCOS, and currently taking diabetic medication in hopes to help me conceive.  PCOS is a hormonal imbalance - it's been a really hard time.
Q: Oh.  

I think the thing with infertility is- it does affect so much of your everyday life.  Friends & family have said - don't let it consume you, don't like it take over.... if only it were that easy.  I try to brush off incidences like that, but they stick in my mind.  I know I have to let it go, but in some cases.... I feel like everyone is so intolerant, and all I want is compassion, not just for me but my Hubs as well.  I think it makes people uncomfortable, and they don't know what to say and half the times it's offensive.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Magic Mike Movie Night

Movie Night

My friend and I walk into the AMC Movie Theater

Me: I don't get a chance to say anything at the ticket counter....
Cashier: Two for Magic Mike?
Me: That obvious huh.....
Cashier: Trust me it's not a lucky guess.

So needless to say I saw Magic Mike with my friend last night.   It was a fun night out on the town, and I really needed it.  The theater was totally packed on a Wednesday night.... with men & women, and the movie was pretty good! I liked it, more then I thought I would. Sometimes I have learned with reading books or watching movies, if you go in with no expectations - you can be pleasantly surprised.

It really made me think about how women are wired and our current position in society today.  With the sudden explosion of Fifty Shades & Magic Mike - it seems to me like there is slight revival of  The Mass Market of The Female Libido. Which surprises me since advertising & media aside I'd say our country generally is lacking in the womens movement.   In the theater last night - I heard lots of  "he's so hot", "oh my", "she's so ugly" and lots and lots of awkward chuckles.  The movie is not through the eyes of a female and that is quite obvious.

Going to this movie was fun.  The story line was good, Channing Tatum isn't bad to look at for 2 hours but the thought of actually going to a Male strip club/all male review is not something I am particularly interested in. I briefly mentioned this to my husband last night, the thought of a sweaty stripper "dong in a thong" coming anywhere near me no matter how good looking he is, for me is not a turn on. (My husband calles me a germ- a- phobe, maybe I am a prude... I don't know) I'll gladly pass on the banana hammock in my face - that to me isn't a turn on.  I can't imagine the thought of sticking a money in anyone's sweaty underwear!

Of course Channing Tatum is the "good guy stripper" with excellent dance moves, and I heard someone in the theater say his "character was sexy" and  I totally agree and think that it is a crucial part to his allure.  I also found it interesting how the other women in the theater picked apart the girls in the movie. Are women hard wired to be jealous, and insecure?  

All and all it was a really fun night, I should do it more often. 

Have you seen Magic Mike?

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Clear Blue Fertility Monitor

So, one day on my lunch a couple months past I did something really, really stupid.  I thought I was buying ovulation test kit, but what I ended up with was the fertility monitor strips.  I can't return it b/c I didn't realize my mistake until after I opened the plastic wrap, even though the box is sealed.  I was in a hurry, and I was clearly not thinking either. 

I don't think there is any way I can use it.  Is there?

So, now that I have the test strips I looked into getting the Clear Blue Fertility Monitor - EEeeeKKK! It's so expensive.  I don't think I could really benefit from the monitor, either since I seem to be on somewhat of a schedule and the Ovualtion kits seem to be working just fine.  I wish I could use these, with out the super pricey monitor.  

Do you or know of someone who uses the Clear Blue Monitor?  Let me know how you like it......

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

More supplements....

I realize it's been a while since I have posted.  I made a few small changes last month, since I have posted.  I started to take more supplements and got back on the diet train, which is more difficult with Summer festivities.  

Currently I am taking a Multi Vitamin, DCI, and 2 new ones:


Retress -  is for all the negative effects from PCOS

Vitex  - is to aid in fertility

I started taking these in the middle of June 2012

Friday, June 29, 2012

Laser Hair Removal : another PCOS problem.

This was by far the best decision, I kick myself for not doing it sooner.  As you may or may not know a symptom of PCOS is:

condition produces excess hair growth
notably on the face, chest, abdomen, thumbs, or toes.

I'ts not pretty, and ever since I noticed these symptoms I have longed for colder weather!  I feel much more comfortable in winter clothes where I can cover.  Since I live in Chicago I have to be prepared for any type of weather at any time - which means my razor is getting a pretty good workout.  Anyways, one day I saw a special on Groupon for Laser Hair Removal (LHR) - on an impulse I bought it.  It's funny because even though I am embarrassed about the excess hair - it took me some time to build up the courage to call for an appointment.  I still feel a bit weird about it.  

Well, I now kick myself for not doing it sooner.  One of my trouble areas is my bikini line - and so far I have had 3 treatments (8weeks apart) and I wish I would have done it sooner.  I have 3 more to go and I am really looking forward to the final results.  Some may wonder, does it hurt?  I can only say that it doesn't feel great - but tolerable, and the pain goes away very quickly.  I also have lily white skin & dark brown hair - I hear that is the best combo the Laser will work on.  I don't use the numbing cream - although I think if it was a bigger area or more sensitive- I would defiantly consider asking for it.  

I may become a (LHR) junkie, it totally beats out shaving and it has really improved my self esteem!

Feel free to message me with any questions.  

Monday, June 25, 2012

Up Date

So, things have been going well.  In the back of my mind I think I am going to Jinx myself if I get too positive!  But, they have been going better... much better.  No more weight loss to speak of since the major (almost 10lb weight loss) but I feel like my body is starting to take a more defined shape.  I feel only slightly better about my appearance.

I did get a period last month the cycle length was a bit longer 38 days.  It came, was longer then the last period and I didn't have major symptoms like I have had in the past.  Usually, I was somewhat able to guess when I thought my period may be close because my face would break out like crazy.

This month I was lazy about Ovulation testing, my husband urged me to test... and it's a good thing because on my second day of test I got a surge.  I would have missed it - close call.

stay tuned... hope everyone is well.  :)

Monday, June 18, 2012

Looking Real.

Sometimes a magazine will do a special article where the star has no makeup on, and everyone praises them.  I don't know what reality is anymore, and I think most American women are clueless too.  I am sick of looking at what the media represents as a beautiful women. I can see airbrushing out a pimple, maybe some crows feet around the eyes - but scooping out a women hips, who is suppose to be famous for being curvy.. now that I just don't understand.  

The above pic is in a current magazine that women love and the article is about bikinis at every age. Um, seriously who is in the art dept?  The photo of KK looks ridiculous - and frankly they all do.  Thus, real women like myself keep struggling to fit in and it's mostly fake anyways... so insanely frustrating.  

Even though I lost about 10 lbs. I don't notice a change in myself, and I still struggle with the weight gain from PCOS and finding myself in the mirror again. 

Thursday, May 31, 2012

It usually happens this way....

Field of Dreams

If I write about not getting my period, history has it when it comes to this blog....

"If I write it, it will come".  Sometimes I think building a baseball field would be easier!  :)

So anyways according to my calendar, going off last month my period should be about 3 days away.  By this time normally (if my period were to arrive) I would have a face full of zits, backache, bloating, and be very VERY cranky.

I have the cranky part down, but that could be from outside stresses and lack of sleep this week.  I am not very patient person so anything that involves waiting is so hard for me.  I am driving myself crazy reading other blogs, stats on ovulation, signs of pregnancy, and PMS symptoms. Just a reminder I did have a surge this month, so that was encouraging.

I just so badly want infertility to be something in the back of my mind.  I would really be breathing a sigh of relief if this cycle was nearing the 34 days apart like the last one, otherwise I have to start to consider other options.  My Endo upped me to the max on MetforminER (1st month on the higher dose) in hopes to get the cycle regular.

Fingers crossed, everyone say a prayer.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Sexy and I know it....


I am though feeling much better about myself.  Today I weighed in at 149.4 - Go me!  ( I was pretty much in shock when I saw that number)  I wasn't particularly watchful of my eating this holiday weekend, maybe it was because I was more active (or it was crazy hot and I was mega sweaty).

Whatever the case maybe I am glad that the numbers on the scale are still showing improvement.  I expect my AF soon, so fingers crossed that my plumbing is working as though it should.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012


Clear Blue Easy  - Surge
So this morning after 18 days of faithfully testing for ovulation, I got a surge.  

Bad news, hubby is out of town..... we were able to baby dance 36 hours ago before he left.  So there is still a slight chance, right?

I was getting discouraged, since I had started taking double the MetforminER dosage earlier in the month.   I had no idea how that was going to affect me.  I was concerned that it was going to throw everything off.  I also started taking Vitamin D after I saw a study that found I (PCOS women) am most likely deficient and it can greatly affect my ability to conceive... stay tuned I am going to post it on my page soon.  
Test stick showing a surge

Seems like things are on going on the right direction, a surge is a good                  sign.  I am as usual, feel re-energized about things. I only had 2 sticks left and was a little worried I wouldn't get a surge at all.  I'll take any of the positive signs I can get.  

I think I am starting to learn to read my body better as well.  Which is really hard emotionally first off.  It's not like I can put baby making out of my mind when every morning I am peeing on a stick to see what my chances are.  Even with my husband traveling I am hoping that I am better able to read things, and if need be I can fly to meet him when I think ovualtion will happen if he happens to be on the road.  So a good day - a step in a positive direction.  Feeling slightly better.  

In regards to ovualtion kits I have used a lot and by far Clear Blue easy is the most easy to use.  It takes the guess work out of reading the test lines, and you can feel confident in a surge or not.  It's about $40.00  - but well worth the price.  I have used about 4 other brands and if I had to endorse a kit this would be the one.  

Friday, May 11, 2012

Mother's Day

Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all the Mom's!

If someone else wishes me happy mother's day - I don't think I'll be able to take it.

I know ppl. are being courteous and such, and they don't know whats going on with me..... but it's really annoying me.

Maybe since I thought I was on the right track with  PCOS, but now I am having a hard time tracking my ovulation and my face looks like a 14teen year old.  I feel like I am in a slump today.  I think the thing that throws my mood off the most is the acne.... even if you can't yet see it, I can feel the painful cysts and it's so hard to deal with.  The acne totally ruins my self confidence.

I just need to snap out of it I guess.

Monday, May 7, 2012

Dr.'s Appointment

I saw my endocrinologist today!  

Things are going well.  Good news, all around.

I am down 6lbs since my last appt with her.

She said if I wanted to try clomid - it would most likely work.  I'd still like to keep on the route I have going.  That is to get pregnant with out the use of fertility meds (that is my backup plan) continue on the MetforminER, diet control, and PMA.

I am currently at 1000mg and she is bumping me up to 2000mg and I slowly increase this week - I'm slightly worried about stomach issues but we will see how it goes.  She said the weight loss is a huge help, and I feel really good about myself and how things are going.

I am currently tracking ovulation with a Clear Blue Easy test kit.  Dieting is so hard though, at least I have a rejuvenated attitude towards this process now.

Monday, April 30, 2012

Gearing Up

Well... things are changing! For the past 2 AF's they have been exactly 54 days in cycle length.  This past month I had a hell of a time tracking ovulation, and I think I know why.  I got my period today and this time the cycle length is 31 days.  Much more manageable then a 54 day cycle - I just hope this keeps up.

I also lost 7lbs this month!  Go me.

I bought the Clear Blue Easy Ovualtion tracker kit and hope this start tracking with this new cycle.

Feeling very positive.

Monday, April 23, 2012

Weight Loss

I love seeing new numbers on the scale.  I was 152 today!!!!

From our trip to SF in December - this jeans are now falling off me , I can hardly keep them up!!

I think back to the days of 164+ and I am so happy how far I have come.  It's been a really rocky journey but it seems to me that things are finally starting to come out in my favor.  I just hope to keep the momentum going.

I think whats been a huge help is Chrial Balance.  If you have PCOS- please check out the link, and speak with your doctor.  I am also taking MetforminER and changed my diet to reduce carbs - but I truly feel that the DCI has given my body a huge boost.  I'm so so grateful to have known about this.  

I think for me it took about 8 weeks to get in my system. I have noticed an improvement in acne and unwanted hair growth.  Check out my progress here :

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Computer.... friend or foe?

Currently I have a lot of down time at my job.  I do, do things to keep myself busy... like vacuuming, re-organization, filling of re-filing, walking up and down 6 flights of stairs every other hour to get some exercise,  and more cleaning.  But there is this great brand new computer in front of me with lightning speed internet and I have a nasty habit of sitting in front of the computer for long periods of time at Facebook for example looking at all the baby pictures out there... looking at everyone's happy faces, chubby cheeks, and hospital photos.

I'm torturing myself.  Why do I do this?

I'm already not feeling well, with a sinus infection which I think was brought on by flying, weather change, and allergies.  So, since I'm already not feeling well ...I decide to "rub salt in the wound" and look at baby pictures for 2 hours today.

It's sick I know.

Then if I am able to break away for being a total creep on FB, I move onto pinterest and explore all the nursery styles and kid pin's ppl have up.  I have seen some ppl. on pinterest that post "Someday" boards that have baby names, nursery decor, baby gifts...... but I just can't bring myself to do it.  I have "liked" some baby posts but I eventually delete them.  It's hard for me to let ppl. (family/friends) in - I don't want them to know of my struggles.  I'm even now rethinking this post, but I thought this was a better way to use my time them cyber stalking.

Why do things have to be so hard?

 I'm not stressed out, just generally frustrated by my situation.  With my birthday now in the rear view mirror.... I can't help but think I'm behind missing out - and so help me if someone else tells me "you have plenty of time" or "it'll happen when you are nothing thinking about it" I pity the person for I don't know if I'll be able to keep it together.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

I'm Baaaaack! - "older, wiser, & relaxed"

Aruba - was AWESOME!  

I have in the past, had birthday freak-outs, no need to go into detail.  This year no freak-outs for the big 30. We started the day with breakfast in bed, a massage at the spa, a day of sight seeing, topped off with a wonderful birthday dinner where our toes were in the water on the beach.                                     

So, I'm really 30.  I know everyone I talk to usually has the response "but your so young" "just a baby, yourself" "30 is no big deal".... to me it was a big deal.  I think back to the days before I was married planning my life out by age, I think all girls do this at some point.  I feel like my varying original plan is not to far off.  I remember my plan  - " I want to be married by 25" - I was married at 27.... just a 2 years off.  Not to bad - I have only been married now, for a lil over 2 years now - but I have been with my Husband for over 7 years.  I can't imagine life without him.  He has truly made me better person - and I love that we are growing together.  He really makes me understand the word family so differently.  

Now, for the the other part of our family - the baby. My struggle with PCOS/INFERTILITY continues.  Some days are better then others.  I pretty much let my diet slip while on vacation - and my tummy was upset a lot.  I noticed with the MetforminER - that it's either I feel great or awful, not in-between.  The more junk I eat the worse I feel.  So I plan to get back on track ASAP.  I feel a slight sense of relief that I believe I am now on a menstrual cycle.  Hoping that I am able to achieve pregnancy with the use of Charting, Metformin ER, DCI, and a better diet.  

Here's to hoping that 30 will be a year of great change!

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Happy Birthday to me.......

Well I won't be blogging for about a week.  I am turning 30 on Friday and my Husband and I are taking a fun getaway to Aruba for Birthday/Easter.  I'm super excited to go on vacation.

I have also started to chart my basal body temp ..... so that is pretty exciting.  I bought the below thermometer from Walgreen's - I noticed some of the reviews on their website were negative.... thought it was unreliable... but it has a lifetime warranty, so I thought it may be worth a try.  I can always return it if I found the temp to bounce around to much.  I have the period tracked app, on my iphone and have been plugging in my temp every morning.  Has anyone found a chart they like?

I think I may finally be on a "cycle" of 54 days, so that I hope will also help with the planning.  I'm feeling a tiny bit of relief that I seem to have a cycle now.  I think it's a combination of eating better, exercising, MetforminER, and DCI from Chiral Balance.  I have also lost 4 lbs. since Jan. and feel like I am maybe heading in the right direction.

Hope everyone is doing well.  I am thinking about you all.  I'll post as soon as I return! CHEERS~

Monday, March 26, 2012



That is exactly how I am feeling.  Oh where o' where could my period be.  I think the worst part about this is the constant thought "that it's here", when in face it is not.  It's the constant feeling of "oh yes, it's here... things are working right, but the I soon find out - FALSE ALARM!

All I want it a somewhat regular schedule.  I know I'm doing a lot of moaning - I'm just feeling stressed out.  I am looking forward to a trip to Aruba my husband and I are taking in a couple days.... maybe get my mind off things.

I'm just so annoyed.

My husband and I have switched to a low carb/fresh diet.... so we will just have to wait to see how that goes.  I have already cut out a lot of crap I was eating, and I have been the lowest weight I can remember since June of 2011.

Small steps I guess - when all I want is a giant leap.

I have also been way overly emotional lately.  Like to the point were my dead relatives are visiting me in my dreams.  Bah!  I really need this vacation!

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Woot Woot

The scale is starting to go in the right direction.  

TODAY WAS 155!  ( was stuck at 156ish forever...)  It was an even 155.0 - how amazing!

I'm so happy I can't even truly explain it.  Now I have the jolt, I need to keep the good work up.  We have been so blessed in Chicago with great weather that has made evening walks so enjoyable. 

Wednesday, March 21, 2012


So I started taking Metformin in December of 2011.  I was running to the bathroom constantly & always sick to my stomach.  I saw my doc 2 months ago and switched to MetforminER (supposedly easier on the stomach)- she told me that if it was making me sick, to take 2 (500mg) at night... which I have been doing religiously until this week I realized...... 

(TMI ALERT) they are just passing thru me! 

Is this because I am taking them at night?  Can my body just not dissolve them?

I wonder if this is in direct correlation with the fact that my period is still not here.  Very annoying as I am so eager to get on a schedule.  Having tracked my ovualtion for the first time, and seeing (what I think was a surge) I thought maybe there was a slight chance it was a pregnancy.  Of course wishful thinking... not having this period is really bothering me.  I thought I was finally getting on the right track.... now nothing!

Monday, March 19, 2012

Sorry for Party Rockin'

Every St. Pats Parade Day we host a big Chicago Party Parade Day.  This year we made almost 9 pounds of corned beef and had all of our friends over.  I opened the fridge and the shelf was too full and everything came crashing down on my bare feet.  The left foot was a goner.  When it first happened - " I thought wow that really hurt"  - but walked it off.  It wasn't till about 30mins later I looked and knew this was not going to be good.

Contusion Left Foot
Contusion Left foot

I went to have it checked b/c I feared a fracture or a break since it's so close to the joint, I always thought if there is black & blue it could be a break.  I Went to the ER the next day - and had x-rays done - no break, outcome was a ................. contusion.  So it's just going to take time to heal.  Pretty exciting stuff, huh!

On the Period/PCOS/Infertility/Ovulation front.... no news.

I have taken 2 tests and both were negative, so no good explanation why I didn't get a period other then PCOS.  I am pretty frustrated - to say the very least.  It's so discouraging.

I would really like to get on a  traceable schedule.  I am doing everything the Dr.'s told me so I guess I just have to wait and see what happens.  I thought for sure I was going to get my period - and then ..... just nothing.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Acne.... stinks!

Ugh, this acne is the pits.  It really really hurts too!

 My Face looks and most importantly feels awful.  I can't stand it.  I am trying not to pick  - which doesn't do any good anyways since they are not budging.  I have not had a bad break out like this in a long while  -I didn't miss it..... and kinda thought I was over all this.

It's bothering me so much I didn't want to leave the house today - slapping makeup on this will only make it worse.  So I am letting me skin breathe and hopefully it will clear up before the weekend.

Truly a huge BUMMER.  I think it's safe to say that my period is most on it's way.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Monday Blues on a Tuesday

I have not been sleeping very well recently and called off yesterday, I think the time change had a little bit to do with it also.  I had not slept at all on Sunday and my sinus' have really been bothering me.  I feel like I have been fighting a cold.  I have also been just plain tired, feeling like I can't that rested feeling.  

I also have something strange going on ..... 

TMI Alert.... I have tons of       clear/slightly white-ish discharge.... 

It all started last week. According to my period tracker I have 4 days left until my period.  I have never experienced anything  like this before.  I even began to  doubt my ovulation tracker kit.... but I don't think this is the case. 

Never ever have I experience this before.  Usually, before my period things kinda of "dry up" now it's the exact opposite.  
(I took a pregnancy test, even though it was way early and as per the usual it was negative.)  

Is this a new PCOS thing I have never experienced before?

Monday, March 5, 2012

I'm so glad the weekend is over... yea, you read that correctly

Hair Dye Allergic Reaction 
Hair Dye Allergic Reaction

What a terrible weekend!  I had my hair professionally colored and it was a nightmare.  I was in agony.  My head felt like one big mosquito bite, and my ears were so sensitive I could not wear my glasses.  

Here are the chain of events:

6:00 - 9:00 ... cut and color = color turned out horrible extremely brassy, which I made clear I was not interested in any brassy tones.   My husband picks me up and tells me I have color all over my face - I tell him it's a shadow... 
*ya know how sometimes you don't want to see things that are right in front of your face (in my case on my face).  
11:00 -wake and take shower = color is not budging off scalp/face hair line - color in daylight looks like "green baby poop".
12:00 -go to salon complain that my entire hairline is dyed, color is off..... she says she can redo it at 2:15.  I ask if it's okay since I just had it dyed?!? My stylist informs me that is is okay b/c there was no lifting.
2:30 - she takes me and re-do color, and then styles it for me.  
5:45 - head home
9:45 - head starts itching take 2 benadryl and apply Hydrocortisone  cream
11:00 sit with an ice pack on my head for most of the morning
12:00 take 2 more benadryl sleep till 6:00
7:00 - eat dinner take 2 more benadryl
8:00 - tossed and turned all night, feeling slightly better, made dr.'s appt. for tomorrow.  
9:30 - call salon to find out what kind of dye they use, no answer

The reaction didn't start till a couple hours later - and the itch/burning was intense.  I looked online and took Benadryl and used Hydrocortisone Cream around the scalp and ears.  What a terrible weekend!

Monday, February 27, 2012

Rumor has it.... I'm turning 30!

So there is a rumor going around that I thought I'd address before it got out of hand.... lol yes, I am going to be turning 30 (in a lil over a month)!  It always seemed to far away and well now it's almost here.  I told my husband that I want to do something really fun for this special birthday, I'm turning 30 before most of my friends- and honestly my friendships with most of my girl friends has drastically changed since they all recently had children = I'm kinda out of the club now.  I wanted a sit on a beach with the hubs and get a chance to reconnect.  We were thinking Aruba - but we had such a great time is Hawaii that we want to try a different island we are thinking Kauai.

If anyone has been to Kauai - please let me know we are looking into hotels now.

Love this suit from Target! $34.99
So here is the other issue - BATHING SUIT.  I lost 6lbs since on MetforminER/DCI which isn't nearly enough to get into my old clothes.  I'm feeling really awkward at the moment - I feel like I am at the in-between stage of a size 10 and 12 so subsequently - nothing fits well.  Currently at 158.6 I hope that by April I can loose 8 lbs.  I think it's a good goal to shoot for - I am just going to need a lot of encouragement.

I think if I could get down to 150lbs. - the clothes I have may fit better and I may not have to get a new bathing suit.  I like a bathing suit that covers my butt and bikini line - another annoying side effect of my hormonal imbalance is bumps/cysts on my bikini line.  I think look terrible and hurt- does anyone else have this problem?  If so do you have a remedy?

I'm interested in a home work out video I can do in the morning - nothing more then maybe 20 mins - or a good video on youtube.  Please comment with suggestions of videos that you find useful.  I know lots of moms exercise with work out videos when the babes are napping - so I'm really interested to know what ones are helpful.  I think I am also going to start a food journal for the first week - see what I can improve on.

Friday, February 24, 2012

Ovulation Craziness

So, next month I think that I will take the advice of my cyber blog pals and get the ovualtion kit with the  :) smiley face (I think they said it's clear blue) rather then try and decipher these stupid lines.  By nature I am a double-checker, re-checker... so I question everything.  These kits with the lines are maddening so difficult to read.  I struggle with interpretation - I like definitive answers.  

I have looked on other blogs for pics of other test, and I'm not sure how other kits work - but I have noticed that ppl. are saving the strips and writing the date on them, according the test I am using -  you are to dis-guard the test after 5 mins - I'm using the Answer Ovulation 20 strip test kit and those are the instructions.  I guess the other gals have different test.

I know something is going on b/c when I first started the test the line was very faint - hardly appeared in the "test" section. This is what the test looked like this week.

Looking at the test - taken at the same time every morning,  the "surge" was Tuesday/Wednesday.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Ovulation Tracker

Why are these kits so hard to read..... is this a "surge" or not?!?!?!

It's def the darkest the line has been but I feel MAY be just a tad faint on one side.  I know it's upside down but my computer is not cooperating today.

What do you guys think?  I have never used a test like this before.

This is the Answers Kit - ovulation 20 test strips kit.


Monday, February 20, 2012

Preparation for Paczki Day

I have been doing really well on my new lifestyle diet, since I made a conscious effort to work on my PCOS diagnosis.... however as many Polish American's or Chicago Residents know tomorrow is PACZKI DAY! I look forward to this day all year long.  In years past we have ordered from Webers bakery but this year we are trying out Bridgeport bakery.  My favorite is usually Cherry, I have never had the fresh Strawberry and cream so that is what I am most looking forward to this year.    Being 1/2 Polish and going to Polish school/dancing classes as a kid I know all about my heritage and Paczki Day is def. one of my favorite traditions.  I remember eating them as a kid- and all the excitement surrounding the day. It's a fun tradition to pass along - I hope these bakeries are open when I have lil ones!  

So My Dad and I will make the drive at 5am to line up at the bakery (even though we have our orders placed) and then deliver some to my Grandma and Uncle - go home and then divide them up between 3 other couples (Mom and Dad) (Sister and Husband) (Me and Hubs).  

This is my order this year: 
 2 Poppy Seed
 6 Cherry
 6 Prune
 4 Apricot
 2 Strawberry w/ Whip Cream 
+ 2 Lemon 
 2 Peach

I think I am going to have to do double time in the gym tonight.... I pry shouldn't eat for a week after tomorrow, lol.  I also plan on wearing pants with an expandable waist :). I'm already feeling guilty about eating them - at least it's only once a year.  I just hope all this sugar doesn't anger the PCOS gods.  

For those unfamiliar with Paczki Day check out this clip below.... filmed in Detroit a fews years ago, but the lines are similar to what we see here in Chicago.